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A little ironic sarcasm on huggers and sniffers

I never thought it would happen to me, but the police finally caught me–the “politically correct” police, that is. The crime: friendliness– “The act of being a friend and showing it.”

Now I have to “un-friend’ someone. It’s hard because I hate to lose a friend. I don’t have that many good ones to start with.

It’s even harder because I’m not on any social media sites I can use to do the awful deed. No email, no Twitter, no Facebook, no Google, no YouTube (or metube), no Pinterest, no Instagram, no Tumbler, no Snapchat or a hundred others out there in the land of way, way too many. How did this happen? This lack of internet sophistication? I think it’s a case of too soon old, too late smart!

I’m still stuck with the idea that writing a letter, making a phone call, or (heaven forbid), a face-to-face conversation is still the best way to communicate. I’m a dinosaur perhaps, but I think dinosaurs are kinda neat. Also not spending all my time on the internet leaves me sooooo much more time for other things. Like writing silly letters to the editor.

But getting back to my problem of how to un-friend someone. I know a letter, a phone call, or face-to-face would be the proper way, but I lack the intestinal fortitude (no guts).

Oh! I forgot to say why I have to un-friend this wonderful, warm, sweet woman, who never did me any harm or harmed anyone else that I know of. Unfortunately, the PC police have decreed that touching someone without written permission is taboo, and this lady I know is a hugger!

She hugs when you meet, she hugs when you depart. In her defense and in the interest of full disclosure, I admit I did hug her back. I showed very little self-restraint. Also, while writing this letter, I remember she once complimented me on my aftershave. You know what that means, (dare I say it), she’s a sniffer! A double dipper if you will.

Well, no doubt she has to go. My plan and only recourse as I see it, is to ignore and avoid her as best I can.

Too bad. She was so nice, except for, well, you know…

Rick Bedell

Gloversville