Children, don't be brainwashed

As we continue to slog through this morass of an election season, I'd like to take this opportunity to state very clearly my position on a subject that has troubled me for some time.

You are no doubt aware that, in the past, I have made certain derogatory remarks about a certain group of people, and lest these comments be misconstrued, I'd like to set the record straight. Yes, it's true: I don't care for this particular group, and I believe the lifestyle they represent is not suitable for good, honest, hard-working Americans like you and me.

I certainly wouldn't want my children to be brainwashed into thinking that their way of life is an acceptable or admirable one.

Now, please understand that I do not in any way condone discrimination against these people. Don’t misquote me as saying I would support violence against them. That would be a dastardly lie.

I simply want to make it clear that their values are not my values.

Frankly, they are far outside the mainstream. No matter how many parades they march in or how often they make spectacles of themselves on television, we hardworking, family-oriented Americans must never allow these people to corrupt our virtue.

Please, children, don't be brainwashed. Don't become a New York politician.