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How do you read?

June 20, 2008 - Bill Ackerbauer

I normally disdain those forwarded mass-e-mail messages that clog my in-box, but a friend sent me one today that pertains to newspapers, so I can't help but pass it along. I don't know who the original author/s is/are. I don't necessarily agree with the premises of any of these wisecracks, but some of them are worth a chuckle ...

Demographics of American Newspapers

1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.

2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.

3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country and who are very good at crossword puzzles.

4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand The New York Times. They  do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts.

5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country -- if they could find the time -- and if they  didn't have to leave Southern California to do it.

6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run  the country and did a poor job of it, thank you very much.

7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure  who's running the country and don't really care as long as they  can get a seat on the train.

8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who is running the country as long as they do something really  scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.

9. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country but need the baseball scores.

10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure if there is a country or that anyone is running it; but if so,  they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional  exceptions if the leaders are handicapped minority feminist  atheist dwarfs who also happen to be illegal aliens from any  other country or galaxy, provided of course, that they are not  Republicans.

11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.

12. The Leader-Herald is read by ...

(I couldn't resist throwing that out there. Have at it!)

 
 

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